Decisions..

Ugh. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I went to OR by Angela Chen a couple of weeks ago at LGFW and was approached by an agent from Elmer Olsen Models. Apparently he and his co-workers had noticed me and thought I had a unique look, so he came over to ask me if I wanted to meet with them at their office. I didn't really know what to expect when I arrived..I was hopeful, but didn't let myself get too hopeful that I ended up crushed. I met with Elmer Olsen himself, as well as one other agent in addition to the one that had originally spoken with me. They told me that it had been a very long time since they had, had someone come into their office with this much potential. They continuously complimented me and compared me to some of the biggest names they represent. It was flattering and overwhelming to say the least. They told me that they wanted me to do their Boot camp, which runs on Fashion Television. I'd have to if I ever want learn how to walk in 3+ inch heels. They told me that they could guarantee me jobs that would pay $4000 each.. and that they wanted me to travel to Europe this fall. THIS fall? I'm approaching my last year of school...is this 'glamorous' lifestyle worth deferring from the biggest accomplishment I would've had this far? I will be the first in my immediate family, and my dad's side of the family to graduate from a post-secondary institution. On the other hand, I can be the first in my entire family to become an international model...I could wait until the end of my last year...but then I'd be in an internship, and what if my internship wanted to hire me? Plus, models have an expiry date, and I'm only 3-5 years away from mine... This is an incredible opportunity, one that requires a huge decision - one that I cannot take lightly. I will eagerly listen to the advice of my family and close friends...but in the end, I have to do what is going to make me happy; I have to do what feels right. My mom said she's scared for me. She's scared I'm going to lose myself and that the industry will change me. Why does 'change' have to be a bad thing? Why does 'change' have to be a scary thing? I'm the one who always openly feared change. She's the one who always told me to embrace it. I've never been on the opposite end before. At this point, to save myself from being overwhelmed, I'm going to focus on finishing this semester of school. Elmer Olsen told me to contact them in a month and let them know what I was thinking. I still have time. Until then, I'll take things day-by-day, and believe that everything happens for a reason. -Satisfy my Soul