The End.

When I first started modeling a little over a year ago, I was overwhelmed and enticed by the endless possibilities within the world of fashion and modeling. I wanted travel. I wanted personal growth. I wanted to be a part of a creative concept and possibly something much bigger than myself. But this industry doesn’t make me happy anymore. It hasn’t for many months now. And while I’ve been slowly coming to terms with this, I’ve been trying to think of any solution to my feelings about the situation – something that could be done to change my opinion or thoughts about the industry, or rather, my spot in the industry. 

I thought I convinced myself for a while that I could be happy as a model. But this business is as much of a mental game as it is a physical one, and mentally, I am not committed. 

This is the only life I have. I need to live it the way I want to, and own 100% of the decisions and actions within it. So I am taking back control of my body, my happiness, and ultimately, my life. Because modeling isn’t a part time job. That’s what many people don’t understand. Modeling isn’t even a full-time job. It’s a lifestyle. And it takes a 24 hour, 7 days a week commitment - a commitment I’m unwilling to make anymore. This job is not for everyone. This industry is not for everyone. Regretfully, it most certainly is not for me. 

I think the reason I stayed for so long is because I had a fear of regret that consumed me. I didn’t want to leave this industry without experiencing everything it had to offer to me. But the more I stay in this industry, doing something that doesn’t make me happy and is untrue to myself, the more I chance regretting not pursuing my true passions. Modeling did teach me several things, however. It made me value my family and friends and the unconditional love and support they provided me with. It taught me the power of beauty and fashion. It expanded my horizons. It introduced me to people I would’ve never had the opportunity to meet. And it made me feel bigger than myself and humbled, simultaneously. 

I realize that modeling is a huge opportunity. I realize I’ve had many opportunities a lot of people would kill for. I don’t take any of that for granted. I am incredibly appreciative of the opportunities I’ve had. I’m incredibly appreciative of everything my agency has done for me over the last year. In fact, had it not been for them in addition to the continuous love and support of my friends and family, I would have been out of this business a long time ago. This has nothing to do with anyone other than me. And because of that, no one can influence this decision. It is owned by me. 

Thank you for the kindness, encouragement, support, and friendship you’ve given to me over the last year. My journey would not have been the same without you.

Alyssa